How do I love all of you? Let me count the ways…. On second thought, maybe I’ll just show you, heh heh. Seriously, though: what is that gift every single person I know is looking […]

I once committed the grave sin of congratulating a woman. A friend had just told me she was engaged. “Congratulations!” I said. From the corner of my eye, I saw my gentleman dinner companio….

Christmas pudding is a holiday tradition where my cousins hail from. Every year there, families mix together mutton fat, bread crumbs, raising, candied citrus, spices and 7 other ingredients (13 tota…

It is a truth universally acknowledged, or so I thought, that there are two types of people who love to cook. There are the cooks–flashy, experimental, flamboyant, unafraid of heat and change, and l…

How should I think about my mind? As I was watching the TV series “Mystery Science Theater 3000” tonight, I wondered if disembodied or transplanted brains, those popular tropes of science fic..

I was talking recently with a friend of mine who was bemoaning the fact that when men meet her, they “just want to sleep with me.” As opposed to what? I asked. Play chess? Of […]

I saw an old photo of Wonder Woman today…that invincible cartoon character robustly brought to life on-screen by Lynda Carter. The notion of any woman being able to do it all, much less with muscle….

I have a new 8-foot, 165-pound hood ornament! Yes, I was taken fishing off Cabo San Lucas, and I caught a striper just one hour before we headed in. It was awesome…he thrashed about in […]

Let me get this XM/Sirius thing straight: I’ve had it for a few years now. Ok, after they wanted me to pay for radio (what with FM, Pandora, etc.) without commercials, and now there are, […]

Frenchies rioting in the streets. American flags burning from Bali to Brazil. North Korean scientists busily spooning plutonium into nose cones. I don’t want to be out of line here, but where the f…

Amy:

I am both appalled and astounded by your leaving our appointment after only an hour together, last week. Your pointed accusations that I had inappropriately groped several waitresses are ….

My back is killing me. Maybe it was being immobile on a plane for 6 hours, or perhaps my spine finally decided it was time for a little payback for the decades of misuse. Whatever […]

Did you know that, for a while, the geniuses in power wanted to outlaw lap dances? We could all still go to strip clubs, pay a cover charge, buy overpriced drinks, and sit with ourselves. […]

Should terrorists be tried? Of course not: they should be shot. That’s what you do during wartime. Enjoy the cigarette; here’s your blindfold; say hi to Allah for me.
It’s hard to be as reso….

And welcome back to full-strength patriotism, America. The fireworks should be tremendous this year, don’t you think? Nobody ever thanks the fireworks guys. They do awesome, risky work for ch..

Financial analysts and climatologists have been very much in demand lately and a great many certitudes have become a little tarnished. Nothing is more ridiculous than a colossus with feet of clay, es…