Dear Professor Feingold:
I hope this letter finds you well and that you are enjoying your retirement. You aren’t going to remember me, but I was in one of your English literature classes in 1998. Yes, I know that was a long time ago, and I was an unimpressive student at the time. As I said, you aren’t going to remember me. Still, I felt a need to get in touch with you and tell you that I developed into a much bigger fan of reading and writing than the kid you encountered at the time.
In fact, I now write both for fun and for pay. As such, I’m sympathetic to what you went through trying to teach writer like me—those who don’t seem to be pushing themselves and don’t seem to be engaged in the class to the level they should be. In my defense, I remember your class well and I enjoyed the novels we read and analyzed that semester (or at least the ones I actually read).
Which brings me to the main reason I am writing to you. You see, my guilty conscience over poor participation in my undergraduate studies demands pence. So, I’ve made a point of going back and reading all the books from all my classes that I didn’t read when I should’ve. In that spirit, I’d like to let you know that a few of the books on your reading list are absolutely my least favorite novels of all time. I’ve worked on reading some of them as often as I could stand it; my bookmarks have remained in place, slowly progressing as the books migrate with me from trip to trip, from hotel to hotel. More than once I’ve put the books away before changing my mind—something has made me want to finish them. I don’t know why. They bored me nearly to death, some passages being worse than others. I understood the symbolism implied, but really, were these necessary? I’m afraid I’ve developed my first few gray hairs, perhaps from this experience. Even if I ever have time, I have no intentions of reading your chosen books again.
Anyway, I’m mainly contacting you to let you know that I’ve now finished all of the required readings for your class. Is it too late to get extra credit?